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| Mel playing softball in high school |
The single worst day of my life, February 8, 2015, marked the
end of the horror that began five months prior, when melanoma snuffed out my
sister’s last breath of life and stole her away from us one month before her 53rd
birthday. Cancer invaded Melody’s left lung and staged an attack that changed a
strong athletic body into skin and bones, taking her life day by day, breath by
breath.
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| Mel had quite a few 4 hour blood transfusions |
The nightmare unfolding, I watch my beautiful sister
struggle for breath, the oxygen machine that started out set to 4 quickly moved
up to 6, then to 8 and then, at the end,
to the maximum 10 setting which still wasn’t enough. Fluid in her lungs
meant that Melody couldn’t lie down to sleep. Sleep for Melody often came
through one of us holding her at the kitchen table or on the couch. Using my
body to prop her up I could feel the shallow breaths from her frail body working so hard, I would breathe in the smell of the sweetness of
her neck and hair and at the same time a scream on the inside would cry out “Oh
my God, my sister is dying in my arms”. I tried to hold it together and keep
the internal scream subdued, my one goal was to remain in the pure love I
felt for her and to hold her up in that love.
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| Mel backpacking in the Wind River Range, Wyoming |
I watched my sister change each day, her clothes began to
sag on her shrinking body, her hair felt brittle and malnourished, her emaciated
shoulders looked like they belonged to an eighty year old. During one of her
final blood draws, I watched my brave sister stick her arm out towards the
nurse. Her arm looked like a pipe cleaner sticking out of the armhole of her
T-shirt. While a voice screamed in horror inside of me, I smiled at Melody and admired her bravery and grace.
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| Mel and her puppy Bailey kayaking at the Pueblo Reservoir |
Melody had always been a warrior--tough and athletic from
childhood on. We climbed trees, built forts, and played sports with our
brothers and neighborhood kids and she was always in the thick of it. In high school,
Melody and I played basketball together and won a State Championship in 1979. Later
in life, we spent many hours hiking, backpacking, biking, running, kayaking and
snowshoeing together. Melody was a fierce competitor and wore a game face
etched with heart and determination.
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| Cheering for the Broncos |
My sister, Melody, possessed a light heart and loved to have
fun. Always the clown, Melody got a big kick out of making us laugh by recounting
her hilarious personal stories told in exaggerated detail with affected voices.
She’d go to extremes of covert planning to sneak in a surprise prop like the
rubber butt hidden beneath her barbecuing apron that would go unnoticed until
she strutted past carrying the platter of hamburger patties. During a backpacking
trip when everyone else would be worrying about lightening their load, Melody
would pull out chocolate bars, marshmallows and graham crackers she’d been hauling
around in her pack for days. On another high-altitude backpacking trip, she packed
along a solar MP3 player complete with speakers so we could all dance together on
top of Buckskin Pass. Going out of her way to bring joy to others was simply something
Melody loved.
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| Sergeant Melody Burns |
Although Melody and I were at times geographically far apart, we
stayed on the same wave length. In the spring of 1999, while I was living in
Florida and Melody was living in Colorado, we both decided to uproot and create
a new life. Melody came to Florida and drove
back with me to Colorado where we began our lives in Colorado Springs. Together
we floundered around taking different jobs trying to create lives that fit us.
Several months later, Melody shared that she was going to join the Police
Academy in Pueblo, CO. Instantly, I knew
that she had found her next chapter and would excel. On the police force, Melody
thrived, becoming a sergeant three years before she passed away. Melody loved her
job and felt like she made a difference in peoples’ lives.
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| Mel loved Mountain biking |
Melody was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 41
years old and bravely fought and beat it.
She was 12 years cancer free when she was diagnosed with Metastatic
Melanoma in her left lung. Melody never
had skin cancer externally so we are not sure where it originated, but once it
travels internally it is often fatal. Melody was brave in her battle, she never
complained, would talk and offer us drinks when we visited, still joked around
at times and refused to take too many of the pain pills because she wanted to be as present as possible.
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| Mel backpacking |
Melody talked and entertained us up until her last
breath. In her final hours she got up and
walked to the bathroom, sipped a drink of water, sat on the side of the bed and finally removed the oxygen mask from her face.
When prompted to put the mask back on Mel calmly said “no” and peacefully
passed away. Before her passing I felt as though Mel was looking out of a window, which was invisible to us, but she was aware and preparing herself to bravely face her next adventure. My sister the warrior and
bright light in this world gracefully flew away.
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| L to R: Kerry, Mel, Me and Marty |
Two years have passed. Those of us left behind have no
choice but to continue moving forward without Melody. As for me: I have been
broke and somewhat rebuilt, I have been swallowed by the depths of anguish and
despair and spit back out, the gaping hole in my soul seems to be smaller and
less raw, and I have found light where at one time there seemed to be only
darkness. A loss so profound I am beyond words most of the time, grief is
persistent and powerful. Holding and feeling Melody in my heart I am somewhere
between two years ago and today…..wandering….trying to catch up. If only I could march
forward as smoothly and efficiently as time.
Strength and joy come from the many great memories and adventures together and the realization of how lucky I was to have Melody for 51 years. I will be forever grateful! I love you Mel... Always in my heart!! Honoring and celebrating a life of beauty and struggle.... a life well lived.
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| Mel and Bailey snowshoeing |
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| Mel and Bailey |
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| Annette, Mel Kristy, Barb Zipline adventure |
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| Barb, Mel, Kristy Maroon Bells, CO |
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| Kristy, Mel, Lynn, Barb cheering for the Broncos |
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| Lynn, Kristy, Annette, Mel, Barb. Four pass loop, CO |
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| Our niece Jamie and Mel |
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| High school State Champs |
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| Kristy, Mel and Jamie |
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| Mel on the beach in Oregon |
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| Mel and Shug raising money for the Humane Society (Shug loved her auntie) |
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| Sisters forever |
