RAT TALES

ANNETTE AND KRISTY: Hey, what's up with Shug? She's lost her appetite. She eats a couple of mouthfuls and starts whining. She usually gulps down her food in a minute or less. Maybe she has a tooth​ ache. Maybe the anti-fungal meds give her a queasy stomach. Maybe she has brain cancer and she's confused about how to eat.

Shug gagging... Can't eat

SHUG: Whoa. What?  Hello dense humans. The cupboard behind my eating area stinks really bad--I'm talking toxic fumes. I've tried dragging my food and water table away, but you keep putting it back.

ANNETTE AND KRISTY: Maybe if we add some incentive foods like nonfat yogurt and white rice she'll be more interested in eating. She loves that stuff.

SHUG: These toppings on my food are delicious, but they don't solve the  problem...that smell...ugh! Is it possible that neither of them smells this? I can barely stand to get near my food bowl. I'm whining and poking at my kibble with my nose. I'm rubbing my face on the couch and gasping for air. What else can I do?

A week goes by. A skinnier Shug fusses at her food bowl looking pitiful.

Annette smells something stank!!

ANNETTE AND KRISTY: Do you smell something funny? Something stinks but I can't tell where it's coming from. (Opens the frig door, takes a big sniff. Nothing. Repeats process for freezer, wastebasket, and pantry. Nothing.) I'll go out and look around to see if we parked by some dead animal. (Comes back inside.) Nothing.

SHUG: (Raises her emaciated head from the couch where she lies with her nose propped by the open window.) Are you kidding me? It's so bad I can see fumes spiraling up from the gap between the cupboard doors.

Next day, after we pull into our campsite at Big Bend on the Colorado, Annette sits down on the steps to put on her hiking shoes so we can check out the park.

Annette opens panel to water pump

ANNETTE AND KRISTY: I definitely smell something dead. Do you smell it?
My sense of smell isn't as good as yours.
I just remembered that mousetrap we left in the water pump cubby behind Shug's food bowl. I'll take the panel out and check it out. (Annette gets down on her hands and knees and moves Shug's food and water bowls out of the way. She opens the cupboard doors, unscrews the panel, and pops it off.)
Oh yuck. This is it. It looks like fur-bearing escargot served on a mousetrap. The body has liquified and it's oozing all over the floor.

SHUG: (Shug rolls her eyes, gives a long, shaky sigh, and dabs tears of joy from her eyes with the corner of her baby blanket.)

Well, we all understand each other now